inaurare | Former inbox, thread list for duplicitynet [2018

I understand that.

[Linneus has had things compelled out of him too - sooner than he might have wished, though he has been lucky that it has been with people he would have trusted with that information.]

But I think he will understand too. More importantly I think he will understand the bravery needed to confess like that...

I'd much rather face a dragon again.

[He seems to reconsider that immediately.]

Though, now that I've said that, one will show up here and destroy the homes and lives of innocent people.

But, at least then Bull will have something to do. He loves hunting dragons.

[he's all set to nudge Cyril, to tell him not to be silly, but he seems to realise it quickly enough for himself.]

It is strange, isn't it? That sometimes we can be more afraid to face our friends?

It is.

It's much easier for me to rationalize this and admit that I need to do as you say, than it is for to actually go about doing it.

[fond laughter]

Yes. But this is a wonderful opportunity - a gift, Cyril.

[though he’s sure he doesn’t need to tell Cyril that.]

A gift to see the man I almost gave my soul to here in this place?

For so many reasons. If it were someone I knew...

[perhaps not one of his guests, but someone else from the Teahouse?]

It would be a comfort to have someone here, of my country. A touchstone, so to speak. And if it were-- the one I loved...

[he needs a moment to gather his thoughts on that one]

I am not of the position I am at home - though I am... marked I’m at least to an extent free. So I hope that might give me the strength to talk with him of things we never were able to.

[he and Xanthe have not talked - really talked - since they were children. His position as an adult... it was too precarious for him to try]

I would not wish them here, but if there were the alternative is... what? I would kick myself if they were to disappear, or worse were to happen without those conversations being had. I would still be afraid - I would almost certainly hesitate - but...

But I think perhaps I may think of it in a different way to others.

[Cyril listens to Linn speak and feels empathy for his friend. He knows that Linn has been through some pretty awful things, and sometimes he'll hint towards them.

One night when they have a spare evening he really will need to give attention to Linn's past - as long as he comfortable with sharing.

He's quiet for a moment after Linn stops talking, giving it proper consideration.]

I like the way that you think, though.

How is it that you've managed to give me hope that maybe this is a gift?

[a self-conscious chuckle, one hand rising to his hair]

Ah - well, I don’t know. I hope I have.

You have, my dear. [Cyril insists with a soft smile.]

I had a feeling that I would feel better talking to you about all of this...

Then I am glad.

[dipping his head slightly]

Perhaps more that I didn’t disappoint in that regard...! But I am relieved I could help - and that you have someone familiar from home.

I do.

And I am familiar to him. That is rare for me. I should be thankful for it.

Is that... not always the case?

[of course there is the possibility of a stranger being brought from one's own world. But Linneus barely has his head around the idea that there may be multiple worlds - never mind possible realities]

[Cyril frowns.]

It is not.

Since arriving here, I have seen several of my closest friends and they had no idea who I was. In their versions of our world, someone else took my role.

Their versions of your world...

[....he's trying. But for Cyril to know them, and yet for them not to know him...]

I had no idea - I cannot imagine how isolating that must feel.

[That confusion is totally understandable, Linn.]

It... is.

And... [He sighs and then accepts that he's just going to talk about this now.]

It made me realize how everything that happened to me had nothing to do with any qualities I had, but more just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

How so...?

[softly curious, shifting to tuck his feet under him, slipper-like shoes neatly abandoned on the floor]

I admit don't fully understand these things - versions of your world, but-- perhaps where you were where you were needed to be. In that version of your world.

This is a long story...

[He isn't opposed to telling it, but it can take a while to explain everything.]

I enjoy stories.

[with a gentle smile, and a gesture to the pot on the table]

Do we need more tea?

Yes please.

[Cyril replies with a soft smile. He waits until Linn is done pouring the tea before he starts explaining.]

The place I come from is called Thedas. There are a lot of countries and political organizations within it and a variety of different races. You know we have elves and qunari, like Bull. The other notable races are humans and dwarves but there are others that would take a whole new story to explain. [He sips the tea and gives Linn a small smirk at that.]

We also have mages. Mages can be members of nearly every race, except for dwarves.

People are afraid of mages. They have unbelievable power and are vulnerable to demon possession and people take this to mean they should be terrified of children. For a very long time if your child turned out to be a mage, the Chantry - that's the main church in Thedas - would take them and lock them up. The organization in charge of all of the imprisoned mages was called The Circle.

A few years ago, the mages rebelled and declared themselves independent. The Templars, who used to be charged with watching over the mages, refused that independence. There was a war, called the Mage-Templar War.

Eventually, in an attempt to end the war, the Divine, the leader of the Chantry, called a Conclave on a holy site. She requested that the leaders of both the mages and the templars meet her at the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

So many people met there to see how history would play out, including me. I was sent by the Keeper of my Clan who was curious about what the human Divine would do to end the war. While we were waiting for a resolution, the Divine was attacked by an evil, ancient being. She called out for help.

In the version of Thedas I'm from, I was near enough to hear her pleas. I ran into the room and interrupted the ritual meant to kill her. That drive to help ended with me being thrust into some of the most important decisions for Thedas's future. I decided the end of the Mage-Templar War, I influenced the outcome of a separate Civil War, I headed an organization dedicated to bringing order back to the world, the Inquisition.

If you spoke to Bull, he'd probably tell you I did all of that because of some inherent quality of leadership and thoughtfulness, but the truth is that I was just the one closest to the room where the Divine was being attacked.

If you found a man here named Cullen, he'd tell you of an entirely different Inquisitor, one he knows ended the wars and fought an evil being claiming to be a god. If you found another man here named Dorian he would tell you the same, only it would be an entirely different person who tried to save the Divine.

There is nothing meaningful about me that caused every event that defined who I was in the eyes of Thedas. It seems in the eyes of destiny, any warm body close enough to hear the Divine's calls and brave enough to rush to save her will do.

[he nods, sipping his tea as he listens. He hasn't known war - he was lucky to be born into a long period of peace in his country, so all he knows really are stories. But he listens to this one, taking it in.

There's a little tilt of his head at that last comment, though]

But it was you, in your version of that world. If anything that sounds like you being the right person in the right place at the right time, to me. For that world.

Hm. I suppose that is one way of looking at it. For the Thedas I know, I was the one close enough to hear and attempt to help, so it had to be me.

But... It's striking to find that all that mattered in your life could easily have been done by someone entirely unlike you.

No, that is true.

[lifting his cup with both hands, pausing]

Do you... regret any of what you have done? Or - perhaps that is too broad a question. When you look back on it do you feel more positively or negatively about it?

[Cyril has to think about that. There's a bitter part of him that hates everything that happened to him. He hates that he lost his arm, that Solas and turned out to have been lying the entire time, and that he was forced to undergo so many terrible things.

But, there's an even stronger part of him that knows he would never trade it for another life.]

I feel like... I wouldn't have made any other choices, even knowing now what it costs me.

[there's a little smile with that]

I understand that feeling.

[his own choices cost him a great deal as well. But he's confident enough that he would never choose differently, short of some exceptional circumstance.]

But then I think it is fair to say that nothing you have done is insignificant.

Former inbox, thread list for duplicitynet [2018 - 2022]

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This was not a tag to write on my phone :/

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